I wonder how we view ourselves, and how the gospel has affected the view of ourselves. I think that when everything boils down we can’t help but to think of ourselves of worthy. I know that the thought going through your head right now is some form of a disagreement with me, and I think thats a valid first defense. But think about it.
I work as a server at a restaurant. Something I look forward to everyday is getting ‘cut’. What this means is what when the restaurant gets slower, less and less servers are needed. There is no point to having a lot of servers on all barely making any money. So cutting lets people leave and the people who stay get more money.
Different managers have different approaches to cutting, and the manger on this particular day was afraid that by cutting people he would then get a rush and so, we were not cut. I was second cut and was really slow by two o’clock, and then expected to get cut pretty soon. But I wasn’t cut for another hour and a half, in which I only had two tables. In my head my time was being wasted as well as the chance for the other servers to make more money was lost.
As I drove home I was really frustrated. I had not made a good amount of money, and also got out of there too late for the break that I wanted to relax in.
I started to think of why I was frustrated. My time was being wasted. I was making it about me. My time didn’t deserve to be wasted. It was important, and therefore so was I.
Which lead me to continue to reflect on something I have been chewing on for a week or two at this point. ‘Self’. The part of me that wants what is best for me. The part that is selfish, putting myself before others. My heart was screaming that I deserve something. That I was worth certain things.
But when you match it up to the gospel, that part of me is dead. That part of me leads to death.
Romans 2:8 - “But for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury.”
Romans 6:6 - “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”
What I deserve is wrath and fury. What I get is Christ. And the part of me that is self serving and self seeking was crucified.
